Ok, I'm back from the living. Thanks for all your well wishes!!!! I have disabled comments for now and am making it member only since the haters can't stay away and its just causing way to much drama. So email me for an invite and I'll let ya in if I recognize your name from previous comments. More than likely if you have never commented before I won't add you because I won't know if you someone who just made a name up to say nasty things.

So.... on to the dirt!

- Ok, I didn't realize this, but Sylvester Stallone's mom was in the UK's celebrity version of Big Brother. As if that wasn't funny enough as it is, apparently, the public and the show was making fun of her and Sly almost flew out to England to get her out of there. Is Rocky even British?? WTF was his mom doing over there, in a reality show???

- Chris Martin is so gonna be in the dog house. Apparently he's also a little wuss. He was flying to Africa earlier this month for a visit with this charity when the plane hit a dust storm and lurched all over the place. He thought they were going to crash. He says all he could think about was "My daughter will have to get a stepdad", and he says "I thought: 'I've written a will. The band haven't finished the album but they know how I want to finish certain songs. I then thought: 'I'll be dying on a fair trade trip so people will always link me with that." Does anyone else notice something missing? Yeah, how about ya throw a thought or two in about your WIFE??? Ya know, other than apparently she has to get remarried. How freaking pathetic.

- Angelina Jolie is speaking out about her part in the Brad and Jen break up. She says she's not a homewrecker, but was just merely a shoulder for Brad to cry on. Anyone else believe that? Yeah, me neither.

- Britney Spears and Kevin Spears went to college together. Yeah, I know when I read that I went HUH? Well it seems Brit's cousin Laura Lynn Covington (Lord they love their "Lynn's" don't they?) graduated from Louisiana State University and Brit, Jaimie, Lynne, and couple other family members all went to see her walk. However, Brit of course had bring along BitBit. At first she was told no dogs allowed, until they realized who it was. Well, then they let her take that little rat in with her, imagine that. When Laura received her diploma there were lots of screaming. Yes, the Spears clan are a classy bunch. (Guess Kevin really does fit in with the family, better than we thought)

- So finally we find out how Anna Nicole Smith really lost all that weight. She says that along with the TrimSpa, she took colon cleansers. So basically she sh*t her way to her new body. I guess all pooing makes ya go crazy to?

- Julia Roberts is so getting so psycho about her babies that she has hired a live-in nanny/bodyguard who is a former secret service agent with a black belt in karate. I guess if its good enough for a president, its good enough for her?

- Ok, you know that big b*tch on The Surreal Life? Former wrestler China, well she has her very own sex tape. Yep, and she is promoting it and giving interviews about it and everything. It's with her boyfriend, former WWE star X-Pac (I have no idea who he is). I doubt it will sell quite as well as Paris' video, but hey I'm sure there is a market for watching wrestler's in love have sex. (ok, well maybe not outside the gay market, but we will see)

- We all know how Uma Thurman is going to be in the movie version of The Producers, well she was overheard practicing her part, and it was reported be completely horrific. The window was promptly covered up after they realized she was spotted. Luckily for us its a movie and they can fix all that mess later.

- Jude Law loves to poll dance. Yes, he admitted this, and yes I am laughing my ass off right now. Apparently its all the rage in London. He says it works your upper thigh and deltoid. Oh, I'm just picturing him twirling around the pole like a happy little school girl.

- Oh how I love it when the righteous fall. Uber religious Mel Gibson cussed some poor reporter out. The kid said he was with the New York Times and Gibson goes "Don't even start with me, Don't even f*ck with me". He said f*ck!!!! Ohhhh....God is gonna get ya!!!!!

- Eminem and Ray Benzino are still carrying on. Now Benzino has made a new rap and video about Eminem and of course everyone's all a flutter. Bunch of little babies if you ask me.

- So how much were those prize bags worth being given away to the Globes presenters? Oh, only $36,000 bucks. Heres the list of what was in them and how much:

• Rosemount Estates and Qantas Airlines Wine Adventure Package, $16,000
• Judy Host photography package, $5,000
• Ehrlooms diamond pendant, $2,700
• Sports Club L.A. six-month bicoastal membership, $2,250
• Brite Smile whitening treatment and products, $1,100
• Missoni shawl, $900
• Chopard watch, $865
• Gianfranco Ferre travel bag, $650
• P7 cellphone by Haier America, $600
• Kiehl's gift box, $540
• Elisa Ilana signature bracelet, $430
• Janet Lee luxury pet carrier, $400
• Yomo handbag, $400
• Taryn Rose men's shoes gift certificate, $400
• Michael Aram decorative bowl, $400
• Persol men's and women's sunglasses, $350
• Keurig coffee brewer, $300
• Aviva Stanoff journals, $275
• Swarovski crystal ring, $255
• Red Envelope travel cashmere set, $250
• Two rounds of golf on PGA Tour course, $250
• Nine West gift card, $250
• Swank martini glasses and shaker, $250
• Kinara Spa gift certificate, $250
• Babystyle gift certificate, $250
• Mont Blanc resin fine-line pen, $250
• Gucci men's and women's fragrances, $250
• Custom wicker ottoman, $250
• Dell Pocket DJ MP3 player, $200
• Godiva G Collection box of chocolates, $125

I'm going to leave you on that note unimaginable greed.

Enjoy!